Scenario 1:
Intimidating professor asks questions.
My reaction:
Should I answer this? Uhm...if I answer this nicely, I will earn point for my class participation and this will eventually contribute to my point.
My alter ego:
The answer is so obvious...do I need to even think and answer?
As time pass, my chances if answering diminishes due to:-
1. This is really no brainer question...am I at the right class...
2. Shit, if I don't asnwer according to what he's looking for, he will not call me ever again...to answer any questions in class.
3. Some smart ass classmates just took my point or said something that is close to what I meant...
Me wanting to be nice and do not want to waste other people's time think that I better not answer such questions or entertain this professor.
Scenario 2:
Nice professor asking questions in class...
My reaction:
Shit, this question is so easy, I can answer that, but I'm not sure...coz I didn't spend much time reading the assigned reading as this professor is nice/not intimidating enough...
shit, opportunity wasted.
My alter ego:
I came to MBA class expecting to learn something much, and I have a 1st class honors in decision science, pass my CFA, pass my PKMC (dealer exam), will be attempting FRM...and this is what you are teaching me? No value add? So, what am I doing in this class??? I am not going to answer your stupid questions...
and THIS kind of thoughts went through mw for the whole 2 hours of the class with me getting agry and angrier by the second...shit, luckily I was paid to do this...if not, I would have leave and just do my MSc in Financial Engineering at UK...which is offering me full scholarship too...
Scenario 3:
Who ever he/she is professing...
My reaction:
I am too sleepy to concentrate on what you said. Can you please stop lecturing and let us go home?
My alter ego:
This is so lame, can you asks me more challenging questions? coz you bored me to death and I am half asleep here dy...asks things that is hard, so that I can prove how intelligent I am and how stupid my fellow classmates are...
hahaha....
Scenario 4:
I was called to answer question
My reaction:
Mind went blank...all the "powerful" speeches/rationals that I have in my head vaporized...and all the outcome is some comments that I don't think clearly represent what I wanted to say.
My alter ego:
Are people getting what I am saying? Why nobody seems happy to hear my comment? Is my answer so bad or do I have problem making people understand what I am trying to say?
Scenario 5:
Didn't raise up my hand coz I think the answer I have in mind is too lame.
My reaction:
Well...never mind, maybe my opinion does not matter.
Eventually, the answer that the professor give is exactly the same as what I was thinking...
My alter ego: Wanting to kick myself at the head for not saying it out loud in class...and now I have to bear the anguish inside coz the professor said nobody think of it...well yea...because I didn't say anything, I am indeed NOBODY...
Scenario 6:
I answer the question nicely and a few minutes later another person talk about it either exactly the same way or similarly and draw appreciative sign, nods, and ohh ahh from others.
My reaction:
uhm, isn't this what I said? Am I not saying it clear enough? Am I not getting through people?
My alter ego:
Shit, didn't anyone understand what I was saying? or was I talking rubbish? Demotivate, demotivated...
and you know what? I am just starting to feel myself getting lazier and demotivated. Shitlar, there goes my grade...I have always been 1 4 flater...and I know for sure now, I will not be becoz of this stupid system and my unyielding emotion and personality that don't allow me to change as much and as soon as I can.
Lazier:
1. No point in preparing cases late into the night....why? coz even if you want to speak up, the professor may not notice you and call on you.
2. So what if I don't speak in class? That does not mean I am inferior to anyone else in class...it's better than some people who only know how to talk and not how to work...I hate these people the most.
Demotivate:
1. Do I come here to talk myself out of college or am I here to learn something new? Coz besides feeling tired all time, I don't think I learn something new.
2. Am I making the correct choice in coming for MBA, instead of going for MSc at Imperial College of London or forgoing my chance to work in IPS Sandario with a month income of RM9k?
Well...guess it's too late to complain this much right? Shitlar...really shit...
The PlanIn the beginning was the Plan.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertiliser, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors then went onto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company; with powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is How Shit Happens.
